CaLm DoWn MoThErFuCkEr
by Richard Kirkland
Summary: Karkat is having a stressful day, and Gamzee decides to help in a... Different way. You are what you eat, so let's eat the chill, right? M for implied blowjobs.


Okay hey guys! I had an old account that kinda embarrassed me, so I made a new one, if you find it congrats! No hints from me though~ anyways! y'all know the deal! I won't actually be describing anything since this is my first alien smut! and actually first time being Karkles and gamze. But I think I did them pretty well... Anyways~ have fun!

Karkat glared darkly at Gamzee, who was grinning absently at the wall. THAT MOTHER FUCKING IDIOT WHAT IS HE DOING. HES NOT EVEN SPOUTING OFF HIS STUPID BULLSHIT MIRACLES, NO WORK AT ALL, JUST SITTING THERE. UGH, THAT STUPID GRUB WORM OF A TROLL, IM THE LEADER HE SHOULD KNOW TO MOTHER FUCKING WORK WHEN IM HERE. GAMZEE"  
the troll of Karkat's anger looked back, a mellow smile on his face, and tilted his head "CaLm DoWn MoThEr FuCkEr."  
Karkat grit his teeth in agitation "DONT TELL ME TO MOTHER FUCKING CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM YOUR FILTHY PROTEIN CHUTE DOWN BEFORE I MOTHER FUCKING CUT IT OFF WITH MY SCYTHE, FUCKASS."  
Gamzee just lolled his head again and laughed "CoMe On MoThEr FuCkEr, I tHiNkYoU nEEd ThE tReAtMeNt AgAiN." He stood up taking a swig of Faygo "IlL mAkE mOtHeR fUcKiNg mIrAcLeS hApPeN." He grinned and walked over grabbing one of Karkat's horns pulling him along.  
The smaller troll flushed and hurriedly covered his face, habit from hiding his blood, and thrashed "LET GO OF ME FUCKASS. I WILL DESTROY YOU IN YOUR THINK PAN. YOUR THINK PAN DOESNT EVEN WORK WELL, BUT IT GETS NO MERCY, IT WILL BE ROTTED THROUGH AND I WILL FIGURATIVELY DEVOUR IT, BUT NOT FIGURATIVELY."  
Gamzee gave a mellow smile as he dragged Karkat along by his horn, slamming the door shut behind them, the other trolls staring "... gAMZEE IS GOING TO HAVE THE MOST RIGHTEOUS FIGHTING WITH MY FELLOW SELF CONFIDENCE FRIEND."  
Terezi snickered "H0W MUCH Y0U W4NT T0 B37 K4RKL3S BI73S HIM?"  
The trolls smirked and put in bets, one by one.  
The trolls gathered around the door waiting until they heard Gamzee "SuCk MoThErFuCkEr, I wIlL hElP yOu ExPeRiAnCe ThE gLoRy Of MiRaClEs."  
Terezi snickered as Karkat yelled at him"YOU FILTHY USELESS SACK OF REJECTED MOTHER GRUB SLUDGE, I WILL NOT BE PUTTING MY PROTEIN CHUTE ANDYWERE NEAR THAT FILTHY PEICE OF SHIT, AND YOU CAN KEEP YOUR MOTHERFUCKING 'MIRACLES' RIGHT UP YOUR ASS WHERE THEY ARE BELONGING. INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SHITSTAIN MIRACLES YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT MOTHER FUCKING WORKING YOU BLITHERING SECCULENT SHITHOLE-"  
He stopped abruptly and there were grunts of struggle until Gamzee yelled out in pain and they heard Karkat spitting and yelling his disgust. Trolls groaned paying each other as they lost the bet "YOU TASTE LIKE YOUR FAYGO SHIT"  
Tavros laughed at Karkat and they continued listening in on the two. "ThAtS bEcAuSe I dRiNk It AlL tHe TiMe."  
There was a group feeling of disgust at what Karkat must be experiencing until everything quieted down "yOU THINK KARKAT KILLED HIM? mY FELLOW MAN OF HIGH CONFIDENCE."  
TEREZI shot him a smirk "PR0B4BL-" she was cut off by Gamzee  
"YoU fEeL tHe MiRaClE bRoThEr?"  
There was a hum of agreement then a wet pop and Karkat yelling, as usual "WHAT THE FUCK, GAMZEE?"  
"MoThEr FuCkInG mIrAcLeS, bRo."  
There was a group wince at the phrase until "whale, this is weird, Karkles should be able to escarp?" she was cut off as Gamzee screamed and there was a loud spurt "WHAT THE FUCK, GAMZEE, EVERYTHINGS..."  
"CaLm KaRkLeS. fUcKiNg MiRaClEs." Gamzee walked to and out of the door, zipping himself up, and returned to chilling in the corner eating cupcakes. Karkat sat staring at the chair, swaying lightly, before standi up and turned to look at the group staring at him.  
Terezi spoke up first "K4RKL3S Y0UR D3LICI0US T4ST3 CHANG3D."  
Karkat's face was already tinged red, spatters of purple on it and his lips dyed with the color, and he stared "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NOT WORKING, I LEAVE FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES AND YOU FUCKING STOP WORKING, YOU LAZY PATHETIC GOOEY MASSES OF GRUB, THIS IS WHY I AM THE AWESOME LEADER, GET YOUR LAZY ASSES BACK IN THERE TO WORK BEFORE I BREAK IT IN WITH A FUCKING SCYTHE."  
Gamzee slowly looked to the others, purple tongue hung out, and laughed "CaLm DoWn, BeFoRe I mAkE yOu, MoThErFuCkEr."  
Karkat looked over a flushed deeply "F-FUCKER. SHUT YOUR LAZY MARMASATE FILLED DISPENSE HOLE BEFORE I SHOVE MY FUCKING-" he was cut off as Gamzee dragged him back in "WaRnEd YoU mOtHeRfUcKeR."  
Karkat yelled out muffled screams for help as the door slammed and the trolls looked to each other in silence.  
"... I 8et he goes down on the Faygo freak it this time!"  
They each grinned and crowded again, ready to win the bet.


End file.
